04/29/2007

Funny that I still feel exactly like I did that night:

History repeats itself, despite my feeble protest. Failure to learn. I'd almost thought it would be different this time, but I knew. In my heart I knew. I know how he felt, just how he felt. The way I feel, the way I always feel. How long will my thoughts circle before I give in? How much longer could it possibly be? It seems like I've been here before, seems like years ago, but I was, I was here. I can't say I'm surprised to find myself here again. I can't help but wonder now, if the fog is really worth piercing, is light truly better than darkness?

I always thought I was so clever, imagine the look on my face now that I discover I'm a fool. I often laughed at those around me. But now it is they who are laughing. Bitterly I wail and I rage against my own ineptitude, I cry and I scream, I claw and I tear, I drain my soul, rend it dry, rip it til it bleed and why? why? why??????